Van Helsing

Van Helsing (2004) QuipTracks triple audio 720p.10bit.BluRay.x265-budgetbits

QuipTracks commentary audio track will play with the movie by default. Change the track in your video software if you want to hear the normal movie track or the official commentary track.

Links
IMDB link

QuipTracks page

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GENERAL INFO

Genre
Parody, Comedy, Action, Adventure, Fantasy

QuipTracks Summary
Universal’s least intellectual properties collide in a dogpile of blue-tinted cheese (not bleu cheese – this cheese should not be blue), and all your favorite classic* characters are here!

Dracula, in his quest to become a Dadula, is chewing all the scenery of Transylvania in hopes of uncovering the reclusive Frankenstein’s Monster, because the secret to creating living offspring, it turns out, is electrocuting Frankenstein’s Monster, which is why he’s relevant to this story. It falls to the legendary monster hunter, Gabe “Never met a monster I didn’t maim” Van Helsing to break Dracula’s windows, appliances, neighbors until he stops trying to have kids. Doctor Jekyll, Mister Hyde, a Mad Hatter, and one or more Wolf Men also make appearances.

To help Mr. Helsing dispatch freaks with extreme stupidity, if not efficiency, he is equipped with a fully automatic crossbow, nitroglycerin, a toddling friar, and the most deadly Beyblades ever developed by the Vatican – which is more of an endorsement than it sounds. Now, pair that deadly arsenal with Van Helsing’s verbal arsenal of wry remarks which push the boundaries of “that’s gotta hurt” humor, and you’ve got those things being used by him for over two hours.

*Not a competitive claim
Featuring: Tristan, Tracy, Kevin


QuipTracks Alternate Summary
The year is allegedly 1888. The Vatican's army of Buddhists, Muslims, and toddling friars with hat hair work tirelessly to arm the great monster hunter Wolverine with the most ridiculous and inane weapons known to man, so that he might fail to hit large targets with the utmost speed and accuracy, picking up baronesses in tight corsets along the way. You'll gasp as Dracula chews more scenery than you could fit in Wyoming. You'll scream as the Frankenstein Monster relays life lessons about tolerance and acceptance. You'll yawn and scratch you unmentionables as Kate Beckinsale expands her acting repertoire to include vampire hunters (she wouldn't want to be pigeonholed). And you'll snack as the movie becomes tedious and you wander into the kitchen for a sandwich.

But never fear! QuipTracks makes this otherwise painful sack of crap into a sack of something awesome...like bacon or something.

Features the voices of: Tristan, Tracy and Kevin


Encoding info
Encoded by budgetbits from BluRay remux (Van.Helsing.2004.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.DTS-HD.MA.5.1-hERMES.mkv) with HandBrake 1.3.3, slower preset, x265, 720p, 10 bit, crf 26, aq-mode 1, sao/strong-intra-smoothing/rect disabled.

QuipTracks sync by traknos.

Subtitles from opensubtitles.org

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POSTER


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SCREENSHOTS
(Click to enlarge)



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MEDIAINFO
General
Filename = Van Helsing (2004) QuipTracks triple audio 720p.10bit.BluRay.x265-budgetbits.mkv
Duration = 2 h 11 min
Size = 1.19 GiB
Overall bit rate = 1 297 kb/s

Video #0
Format = HEVC x265 - 3.2.1+1-b5c86a64bbbe:[Linux][GCC 9.3.0][64 bit] 10bit
Resolution = 1280x694
Aspect ratio = 1.85:1 (1.846)
Bit rate = 1 078 kb/s
Frame rate = 23.976 FPS

Audio #0
Title = QuipTracks
Format = Opus
Channels = 2 channels
Bit rate = 72.0 kb/s
Sampling rate = 48.0 kHz
Language = English

Audio #1
Title = Unriffed feature
Format = Opus
Channels = 2 channels
Bit rate = 73.0 kb/s
Sampling rate = 48.0 kHz
Language = English

Audio #2
Title = Director's Commentary
Format = Opus
Channels = 2 channels
Bit rate = 65.1 kb/s
Sampling rate = 48.0 kHz
Language = English

Subtitles = UTF-8 English